A satirical political movement...until it's real.
Mission:
Heal America.
A positive revelution to Heal America using purpose driven comedy x absurd solutions
How we do it
The TV Show
Coley For President is in production now.
a sketch comedy show featuring Coley & the Revelutionaries mocking everything while proposing absurd solutions that may actually work. where positivity x innovation cure dystopia. The Daily Show meets Black Mirror.
The Movement
Multimedia Tours. Absurdist Protests. Purpose Driven Content (films, tv, music, podcasts).
More Revelutionaries working together to heal our country and create a healthier life for all. The light following dark times. We obviously still have a lot of work to do...
The Election
only if the people and the universe demand it, maybe Coley runs in 2028.
if not, only pyschopaths chase power. we'll just keep being silly from the outside and make a prolific catalog of Coley for President TV Show seasons + purpose driven content that helps influences and gives ideas to well intended political leaders. we don't care who does it or who gets credit, just f'n change things for real.
The vibes
political violence has been used by oppressive governments and impatient revolutionaries for millenia, hasn't worked yet. maybe we should evolve into a collaborative species that only uses violence for ethical self defense. No more short cuts x dark shit.
let's call it. we're at rock bottom America. blaming each other ain't going to get us out of this mess. it's all of our fault.
we don't trust science anymore but 1+1 is always 2, we can't forget math or we're f'ed.
without good faith intentions x honoring our word, we have nothing.
we are all too BRAND-IST. the root of all racism, sexism, radical extremes. I don't give a shit what you are.
Fresh energy. Youth.
The first punk rock president.
Authenticity.
Coley isn’t a career politician — he’s a career truth-teller.
Nothing breaks down the walls like a Coley.
We don’t need another politician trained to dodge the truth. We need someone who’s built a career on confronting it, no matter whose side it embarrasses. Someone who can see through the spin, cut to the core, and speak in a way people actually hear.
After graduating in three years from Georgetown and quitting the day he got his first-year bonus on Wall Street, he walked away to make art that calls out hypocrisy, corruption, and lies wherever he sees them.
From music and films to stand-up and satire, he’s spent the last 17 years using creativity as a weapon for change.
That’s Coley. A president who won’t just manage the system — he’ll wake it the f*ck up.
Ready to fight the good fight with us?
We need people in every state to make it official. Add your name to the early supporters list here and send a message.
This campaign isn’t backed by billionaires or party machines — it’s powered by people who believe we deserve truth, courage, and a little sanity in our politics.
Getting on the ballot in every state takes thousands of everyday citizens stepping up, one signature at a time.
By joining today, you’re raising your hand to be part of that effort. We’ll keep you in the loop, give you the tools you need, and let you know exactly when and how to make your support count.
Change starts here — and it starts with you.
Spread the movement
All conversations sparked from these shirts are guaranteed to be funny and unifying. Just what America could use at the moment.
1. Truth above all
Because you can’t fix what you don’t face.
"Truth Above All" isn’t just a slogan for Coley—it’s his entire operating system.
In a political culture where spin is currency and both sides weaponize half-truths, Coley’s loyalty is to reality itself.
He doesn’t care if the facts make your team look bad, his team look bad, or him look bad—because if we can’t face what’s real, we can’t fix what’s broken.
That’s why he takes fearless shots at hypocrisy wherever it hides: in Washington boardrooms, Hollywood green rooms, Sunday sermons, activist circles, and yes, in the mirror. Truth isn’t about comfort—it’s about clarity. And clarity is the first step to healing a nation.
Coley’s America runs on sunlight, not shadows. That means telling the truth even when it’s messy, complicated, or wildly unpopular—especially then.
It means rejecting the cheap dopamine of political tribalism in favor of the harder, slower work of honest conversation.
Under "Truth Above All," there are no sacred cows, no off-limits topics, no polite lies to protect the powerful. If you’re doing harm, you’re getting called out—red tie, blue tie, or no tie.
Because the only way forward is through reality, and Coley’s ready to drag the whole country there, kicking and laughing.
2. A fair shot for everyone
A country where the game isn’t rigged.
"A Fair Shot for Everyone" means exactly that—no winks, no asterisks, no fine print.
In Coley’s America, your zip code, skin color, bank account, or last name doesn’t decide your future—you do.
It’s about dismantling the rigged systems that hand golden tickets to a few while telling the rest to “work harder.”
From education to healthcare to opportunity itself, the goal is simple: if you’re willing to put in the work, you should have a real chance to thrive. Not a lottery ticket, not a participation trophy—a fair shot.
This isn’t about dragging anyone down; it’s about lifting the floor so everyone starts the race on solid ground.
Coley believes the measure of a nation isn’t how high its winners can climb, but how far its people can rise without someone’s thumb on the scale.
That means breaking the chokehold of corporate money on politics, leveling access to quality schools, and making sure our laws protect people, not just profits. A fair shot for everyone isn’t a dream—it’s a baseline.
And anything less is just rigged.
3. Service as strength
Real power isn’t taking—it’s giving.
"Service as Strength" flips the script on what power really means. In Coley’s America, leadership isn’t about climbing to the top of the pyramid—it’s about flipping the pyramid over and carrying it for the people.
True strength isn’t measured in titles, bank accounts, or how loud you can shout in Congress; it’s measured in how much you give, how well you listen, and how hard you fight for those who can’t fight for themselves.
Service isn’t weakness—it’s the ultimate flex.
Coley believes public service should be exactly that—service. Not a career ladder, not a branding opportunity, not a way to cash in on insider deals.
It’s about showing up for your community, your country, and even the people who disagree with you, because that’s how you build something bigger than yourself.
"Service as Strength" means valuing cooperation over ego, long-term solutions over quick wins, and leaving things better than you found them.
Because in the end, the strongest thing a leader can do is serve.
4. Digital common sense
Innovation without exploitation
It starts with a simple premise: the digital world is now the real world, so it needs real rules.
That means a Digital Bill of Rights to protect privacy, free expression, and fair access online, along with a requirement that tech profits be shared with the creators who actually make the content that drives the platforms.
We must crack down on the spread of misinformation and slander without turning the internet into a censorship machine, and harness the green tech revolution to make technology part of the climate solution—not another problem to solve. Cybersecurity and modernized infrastructure aren’t optional anymore—they’re as essential as clean water and electricity.
Coley also believes the law needs to catch up with reality.
Antitrust enforcement should stop companies from being both the “pipe” and the “product,” breaking up monopoly power so innovation can actually thrive.
No more deceptive pricing—every platform and service should show the all-in cost with taxes upfront.
Technology should serve the public good, not just shareholder value, and in Coley’s America, the digital economy will finally play by the same rules as everyone else.
5. Fix the damn system
What healthy politics looks like
Coley’s political reform agenda is built on one core belief: the system should work for the people, not the politicians.
That starts with term limits for Congress, the Senate, and even the Supreme Court—because no one should make a lifetime career out of holding power.
He supports banning negative ads and slander in campaigns, shifting elections back to a contest of ideas instead of a demolition derby of character attacks.
Election Day should be a national holiday, and modern biotech should make secure, seamless voting possible for every citizen, no matter where they are.
He also supports moving to a popular vote for presidential elections and expanding the use of national referendums, giving Americans a more direct say in major decisions.
On the ethics front, it’s time to overturn Citizens United and get unlimited corporate money out of politics once and for all.
He wants to promote a healthy, unifying patriotism—not the divisive, flag-waving-as-a-weapon kind, but a shared pride in working together to make the country better.
In Coley’s America, politics isn’t a blood sport or a billionaire’s playground—it’s public service with rules, integrity, and accountability baked in.
Ready to fight the good fight with us?
We need people in every state to make it official. Add your name to the early supporters list here and send a message.
This campaign isn’t backed by billionaires or party machines — it’s powered by people who believe we deserve truth, courage, and a little sanity in our politics.
Getting on the ballot in every state takes thousands of everyday citizens stepping up, one signature at a time.
By joining today, you’re raising your hand to be part of that effort. We’ll keep you in the loop, give you the tools you need, and let you know exactly when and how to make your support count.
Change starts here — and it starts with you.